


love, drugs and sex

by lgbttoni



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Drug Use, F/F, Slow Burn, possible angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:14:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29300223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lgbttoni/pseuds/lgbttoni
Summary: As Toni was bringing the key towards her nose, a body pushed through the bathroom door. Shit, Toni had thought she locked it but here came Shelby of all people, stumbling into the bathroom with tears flooding her eyes. Shelby quickly composed herself, realising what she had walked in on. ‘What on God’s Earth are you doing?’ Shelby shot out towards Toni.‘Building a fucking tent. What does it look like, Barbie?’‘That’s illegal.’ Shelby stuttered out, eyes focused on the substance in Toni’s hand.Toni rolled her eyes. ‘And drinking under the age of 21 isn’t?’ Toni had her there. Shelby was visibly swaying back and forth, no denying she had alcohol in her system.or, toni is developing a serious drug problem that she can no longer keep hidden. will shelby be roped into her habits or pull toni out of this impending dark hole.
Relationships: Regan/Toni Shalifoe, Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 9
Kudos: 101





	1. $1

**Author's Note:**

> hi i haven't attempted to writer fanfic in years lol
> 
> pls note there is excessive drug use in this so in case that is a trigger pls do not read

_Fuck._

Toni thought as she raised her head from the kitchen counter, the burning feeling in her nose feeling all too familiar. When Toni was younger, this was a situation she promised herself that she would never get in. _Drugs and alcohol_. Specifically the drugs part. Yet here Toni Shalifoe was, surrounded by sweaty bodies and a beer filled atmosphere, about to begin her third line of the hour.

‘Slow down, tiger.’ Toni lifted her head once again, the stinging sensation disappearing as she was cut off before she could start again. Fatin Jadmani was standing adjacent to Toni, sporting an all black, short dress. ‘The party has barely started and you’re already on the hard shit.’ Fatin chuckled towards Toni. It was 10pm, the house party hosted by a random guy in her year had only been going for an hour. But Toni already felt as if she was on a different planet, lost in the euphoric feeling that the white powder held over her. 

Ignoring Fatin, Toni finished her part of her daily routine before grabbing another beer from the island. ‘Oh come on, Fatin. It’s not like you to take things slow.’ Toni croaked out to Fatin, her throat dry which was cured by guzzling down her bottle of beer. Fatin mouthed a _‘Fuck you’_ to Toni before pulling her in for a welcoming hug. The two girls were not exactly friends, both coming from completely opposite social groups. Fatin being slotted in with the ‘true basic bitch’ group and Toni preferring to steer clear away from them. However, they always made it a point to converse at the multitude of parties each of them attended. 

Pulling back from the hug, Fatin questioned the smaller girl in front of her, ‘Where’s your sidekick?’. Toni looked at her confused before realising she meant _Martha._

‘You know she never comes to these things, no matter how hard I try. Martha is the ‘stay in and watch the vampire diaries on repeat’ kind of girl. I think she’d have a fit if she eventually made it to a party and witnessed what goes down.’ Toni laughed out. She really did wish Martha would join her one day but Toni loves the innocence that surrounds Martha Blackburn, it was what made their friendship work. Martha was like a safety anchor for Toni, preventing her from submerging too deep in whatever shit she fell into. Whereas, Toni helps expose Martha slowly to the treacherous world that they live in without her getting hurt.

‘And what about your girlfriend?’ Fatin enquired. Toni snorted loudly. _Girlfriend._ That word felt foreign to her. Toni and Regan were on the outs, yet again. Everything was going smoothly, Toni thought she had her habit hidden from the world until Regan found a small baggy in the pocket of Toni’s shorts when she was doing laundry. This caused an outburst between them leading to Toni settling back into her luxurious living situation - the back of an abandoned truck in the middle of a damp, overgrown field. 

Toni felt anger bubbling within her stomach at the thought of her fight with Regan causing her to abruptly shut down the conversation with Fatin. Toni grabbed another beer and removed herself from the kitchen before Fatin could question further. 

Stumbling through to the living area, Toni dropped herself onto the empty couch and focused on the crowded room before her eyes. There was a wide mix of social groups that she could spot. People dancing, drinking and doing god knows what in the not so privacy of the setting. 

Her eyes fell on Dot Campbell, her dealer. Dot had the best shit in their small town and also gave Toni the benefit in her situation and provided her with cheaper deals. Dot was settled on the opposite couch with one of the Reid twins, Nora, clearly sampling her own product. Toni laughed at this and shifted her eyes to land on two bodies in the corner. She almost brought her beer back up at the sight. Shelby Goodkind was pressed up against the wall with her boyfriend, Andrew, evidently going to town on her neck. Shelby opened her eyes for a split second and they locked with Toni’s. Toni quickly averted her eyes from the ‘religious’ couple and returned to sipping her beer. 

Shelby and her clique were the only group Toni could not get on with. Toni being a hot-headed person would usually pick fights with anyone under the sun but this was always justified. But when it comes to Shelby’s clique, Toni could imagine beating all their asses without a single reason as to why. Maybe it was the perfection they attempted to convey, or the fact they were heavily religious. Or, how about the homophobic slurs that were always shot in Toni’s direction. Toni was immensely proud of herself for refraining from brutally murdering the lot of them because who wouldn’t love to watch a homophobe bleed out in front of them. _Too dark?_ Toni thought to herself.

The buzzing feeling in Toni’s body was beginning to wear off. Pushing herself up, Toni made her way to one of the many bathrooms in this labyrinth that a family calls home. Toni settled herself on the closed toilet seat, pulling a set of keys out of her pocket - one for Regan’s house and the other for Martha’s -, along with a small baggy. Toni used Regan’s key to scoop up little of what was left of the powder. She smirked to herself, finding it ironic that drugs were the current cause of her relationship breakdown and here she was rubbing it back in Regan’s face by using her property to enable her habit. 

As Toni was bringing the key towards her nose, a body pushed through the bathroom door. _Shit_ , Toni had thought she locked it but here came Shelby of all people, stumbling into the bathroom with tears flooding her eyes. Shelby quickly composed herself, realising what she had walked in on. ‘What on God’s Earth are you doing?’ Shelby shot out towards Toni.

‘Building a fucking tent. What does it look like, Barbie?’

‘That’s illegal.’ Shelby stuttered out, eyes focused on the substance in Toni’s hand.

Toni rolled her eyes. ‘And drinking under the age of 21 isn’t?’ Toni had her there. Shelby was visibly swaying back and forth, no denying she had alcohol in her system.

Shaking her head, Shelby let out a slurred ‘It’s not the same.’ Again, Toni rolled her eyes and proceeded to snort the electrifying powder up her nose. Shelby’s eyes ran wide, as if this was the first time she had been exposed to drug use. _It probably was_ , Toni thought to herself.

Unlike Shelby, who grew up in a rich, upper class family completely sheltered from all things _bad_ in life, Toni had witnessed these sort of acts from a young age. Toni was four years old when she had the first memory of her mother using. Of course, Toni now knows it was happening long before she had turned four but the one memory appears to be scorched into her mind. _Her mother passed out on the couch with a needle inserted in her arm._ Toni blinks away the memory and focuses back onto Shelby. 

‘You’re killing my buzz, Barbie.’ Toni huffs out before pushing past Shelby and back into the crowded house on a search for more alcohol.


	2. $2

Rolling over in an unfamiliar bed, Toni rubbed her eyes open and yawned loudly making a weird Chewbacca sound. Toni laughed to herself before finally noticing the warm body pressed up beside her. _Well fuck, this isn’t Regan._ Toni knows that they are technically on a break right now with no obvious signs of a reconciliation but she still feels a pang of guilt in her chest. 

Toni scrambles out of the bed and quietly redresses herself, slipping on her high top vans before sneaking out of the room. The smell of stale alcohol hits her nose, reminding her of the night before. Toni grimaces, making her way downstairs and swiftly out the front door into the fresh late summer air. With the feeling of a raging hangover looming, Toni begins her walk back to the trailer park where her foster family reside. Tomorrow is the first day of senior year at Hopewell Lake High School for Toni and she knows that it will be drastically different from the previous year. 

In junior year, Toni had everything under control. She was captain of the school’s basketball team, the Firebirds. Along with this, Toni was doing averagely well with her grades and she was in a stable, loving relationship. From around March, everything in her life began crumbling apart. During the final game of the season, this _bitch_ kept fouling Toni so of course, she retaliated back by pissing in her hand and throwing it at the girl. This resulted in Toni getting kicked from the squad indefinitely. Slowly after this, Toni began losing control. But as Toni says _control’s a fucking fantasy._

An hour later, Toni arrived at the trailer park ready to collapse into bed. She trudged her way over to the abandoned truck, collapsing onto the old mattress and wrapping herself up in the many blankets she had obtained over the years. Although it was a hot summer, sleeping outside can get freezing especially for Toni who, over the summer, had lost a considerable amount of weight due to the drug use. 

Sliding her hand into one of the pillowcases, Toni pulled out a metal tin that had the words ‘do not touch - toni’s only’ written in block capitals across it. Toni rummaged through the many different pills that inhabited it, eventually deciding on the bright yellow one before popping it into her mouth and concealing the tin again. Swallowing it dry was something Toni had mastered. You see when you do something enough times it becomes second nature, in Toni’s case it was no longer needing liquid to wash pills down. 

Twenty minutes later, Toni lay listening to music feeling the effects of the small pill slowly clouding her mind. _This is the life_ , Toni thought to herself before drifting off to sleep.

…

Kicking her skateboard up from the ground, Toni walked through the main entrance of HLHS. The hallways were empty as Toni arrived an hour early in hopes of having a shower before her first class. Toni hates school but secretly she was glad summer was over. Spending three months worrying about where and when her next shower was going to be was getting old for Toni. Toni knows she could always shower in her foster family’s trailer but she would rather avoid stepping foot in there in case she got another left hook to the face courtesy of her foster brother, Adam. 

Arriving an hour early to school was obviously still a challenge for Toni as she somehow managed to turn up late to her first class, English with Mrs Wolfe. Toni barged through the door, mumbling a quiet ‘Sorry’ before scanning the room for a vacant seat. Imagine Toni’s surprise when the only available seat was next to Barbie aka Shelby fucking Goodkind. Internally groaning, Toni rolled her eyes and sulked over to the desk in the back row beside the window.

‘Don’t look too happy to be my desk buddy, someone might think you actually care.’ Shelby whispered to Toni as she sat down. Toni grunted in response, choosing to ignore the sound of Shelby’s extremely southern accent. Shelby had moved to the small town in Texas at the beginning of freshman year, yet three years later continued to hold her strong Dallas tone. 

Facing forward, Toni tried to focus her vision on the board in front of her which proved difficult due to the tingling sensation running course through her body. The reason Toni was late to class was primarily not her fault. She had plans to meet Dot behind the school to pick up her order but Dot was late, therefore making Toni late. Well, that and the fact she went to the bathroom to take a couple of lines to set herself up for the morning. Toni wishes she had taken more now that she knows she has to put up with Shelby for a double period.

Mrs Wolfe assigned the class a mundane task to work through in partners. It was only twenty five minutes into class and Toni already had her head slumped on the desk, oblivious to the activity that was set. ‘Are you going to help with this or just lie there like a zombie?’ Shelby asked Toni in a sarcastic tone. Shelby was the kindest soul to anyone she ever met but there was something about Toni that irked her. 

‘We prefer to be referred to as the undead.’ Toni retorted with her eyes remaining closed.

Shelby scoffed, ‘Another late night was it? You know with that little side hobby you’ve got going on.’ Toni’s eyes shot open in disbelief at the remark. Shelby had balls talking to Toni like that. Shelby knew this herself. 

‘Excuse me?’ Toni continued to appear shocked, anger slowly rising within her body. Toni hated when people brought up things that did not concern them, especially when the person was someone like Shelby.

‘You know, the drugs.’ Shelby smirked, noticing she was getting a rise out of Toni. 

Toni sat up preparing to argue with the blonde girl. Shelby continued smirking to herself causing Toni to slam her right hand down on the desk, moving closer to get in Shelby’s face without drawing too much attention from the class. ‘That was a one time thing.’ Toni lied through gritted teeth. Toni wished it was only once. Toni wished she could go back to March before she tried her gateway drug for the first time. 

It is true what they say, that marijuana is the gateway leading to a spiralling descent into the world that is drugs. _Once,_ Toni thought to herself. _It was only supposed to be fucking once._ Now it was September, six almost seven months down the line and Toni couldn’t go forty minutes without needing another fix. Toni can acknowledge that she has a problem but to her, she doesn’t want to fix it. She has settled in the fact of like mother, like daughter. Toni clearly shares her mother’s addictive personality and with her being on a ‘Rehab, Rinse, Repeat’ programme, Toni has no hope for herself.

Shelby stifles a laugh, ‘Toni, have you looked at yourself? Your eyes can’t stay focused for more than two seconds and don’t get me started on those pupils.’ Toni closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, aiming to stay calm before she flips out at Shelby. ‘How do you even afford it?’ _Fuck Shelby, you couldn’t have kept your mouth shut._

Jumping up harshly, Toni’s chair flips back and slams to the floor. Suddenly, all eyes are on the two girls. Toni stood shorter than Shelby but her confidence made her appear ten times bigger. ‘What did you fucking say to me?’ Toni spat out towards the taller girl, moving in closer towards her person.

‘You heard me.’ Shelby stood her ground. Toni couldn’t help herself at what happened next, it was as if a blind rage had built up inside her and she was unaware of what she was doing. Pushing against Shelby’s shoulders, Toni slammed the blonde back against the wall with a small groan emitting from her. Toni voiced a spiteful _‘fuck off’_ before grabbing her bag and running out the room. 

_Great._ It wasn’t even a full hour into the school day and Toni knew she had already scored herself detention. Toni spent the remainder of the morning hiding in the woods behind the school. She had eventually returned to her senses after smoking a joint or two, maybe three but who’s really counting? Deciding it was time to return around lunch time, Toni made her way back into the school ready to face more drama to come.


	3. $3

Pushing her way through the cafeteria doors, Toni walked towards her usual table. Already sitting there were her two closest friends, Martha and Leah Rilke. Martha sat staring at her phone, probably scrolling through an inspirational instagram page whilst Leah had her face in a book - the usual for both girls. Their eyes tore away from their solo activities as Toni slid into the seat opposite Leah. Immediately Martha’s face turned into a frown, ‘What’s that smell?’

Locking eyes with Leah, Toni feigned confusion. ‘Probably some shit the school is trying to pass off as food,’ Toni chuckled out, ‘you know Agnes is always experimenting in the kitchen.’ Martha, oblivious as usual, nodded her, laughing in agreement. Toni let out a breath she never realised she was holding, once again thankful that Martha was the poster child for innocence.

Toni sat back in her chair, closing her eyes and attempting to remain in her blissful high for as long as she could before lunch was over. Eating at lunch was a rare thing for Toni, so neither of her friends questioned why she wasn’t buying anything. Only today wasn’t because Toni didn’t want to eat, it was because she couldn’t afford to. Toni had spent the last of her money on her weekly drug order from Dot. 

At the beginning of each month, Toni receives money from the state. Money for the essentials like food, clothes and water. But lately, Toni had been abandoning the necessary items of survival for her own idea of the word, _drugs._ Every week, Dot would make a ‘survival kit’ for Toni which consisted of weed, unknown pills, cocaine and MDMA. Toni had no idea where Dot sourced everything from, if they were even legitimate. All she knew was the cosmic feeling they provided her. 

Toni was pulled out of her thoughts to the motion of her chair being dragged backwards with her still in it. _What the fuck._ Spinning around, Toni found Andrew towering over her. _Just what I need,_ Toni thought to herself rolling her eyes and standing up to get on the same level as Andrew. This proved difficult considering Toni stood at 5’3” and Andrew was at least 6’0”.

‘You better keep your hands off my girlfriend, bitch.’ Andrew spat out towards Toni.

Toni smirked, unphased by the off brand ken doll standing mere inches away. ‘Or what? You scared I’ll convert her?’

‘Or I’ll make you wish you died in your junkie mom’s-’

Before Andrew could finish his sentence, Toni’s left fist had connected with his jaw. Andrew collapsed to the floor and Toni took this as an opportunity to jump on him. Connecting blow after blow, Toni could only see red. No thoughts, head completely empty.

Eventually, Toni was being manhandled off Andrew by campus security and shoved into the school’s isolation room. It was a couple of minutes before Toni re-established a connection with her clouded brain, finally zoning back in on reality. A blazing pain was coursing through her hands, Toni looked down to find her knuckles covered in blood and already bruising from the multiple impacts to Andrew’s face.

The isolation room door pushed open, in walking the school principal, Mrs Honey. Mrs Honey had always gone easy on Toni, developing a soft spot when every other adult in Toni’s life had expected nothing but trouble from her. Toni’s eyes softened slightly at her presence. ‘Toni,’ Mrs Honey began, Toni looked down at the floor already knowing that she had severely fucked up.

‘Don’t. Please, don’t.’ Toni choked out, her voice cracking in the process. She knew what was coming.

Mrs Honey continued, ‘You know we’re going to have to call your social worker. That was the deal, if this happened again.’ Toni began shaking her head rapidly, pacing around the room.

‘You can’t call them! They’ll fucking move me again.’ Toni could feel the anger rising in her chest as quickly as it had disappeared. She knew this was the deal. Her social worker had been desperately trying to find Toni a place where she could thrive, clearly this current placement wasn’t allowing this to happen. But Toni did not mind that, at least they left her alone to get on with her life. She had a hundred percent been in worse living situations than her present one. Toni would actually rank this foster family in the top three.

‘You put this on yourself, Toni.’ Mrs Honey sighed, ‘What happened to you trying harder? You were doing so well this time last year, what happened?’ Toni bit her lip to hold in her words, knowing if they were to spill out then social workers would be the least of her worries. 

Toni settled on, ‘Shit happens, I guess.’ 

…

An hour later, Toni remained in the isolation room having been excused from her classes for the rest of the day. In walked Toni’s social worker, Charlotte. Charlotte was in her mid 20s, making it easier for Toni to get along with her. Usually Toni has difficulties with older authority figures. 

‘Again, Toni? Really?’ Charlotte had been Toni’s main social worker for the last three years. Toni was her first ever case after graduating college, safe to say she also had a soft spot like Mrs Honey.

Toni avoided making contact with Charlotte, knowing the look of disappointment would set her off again. ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’ Toni huffed out, clenching her fists before hissing in pain. 

‘Looks like you did a real number on those.’ Toni knew it was a light hearted joke but scoffed to herself. ‘This wouldn’t happen to be related to the drugs, would it?’ 

Toni choked on her own breath, ‘What are you talking about?’ _How the fuck does she know?_

‘Toni, you smell like you bathed in a cannabis bubble bath.’ Toni let out a quiet sigh of relief. She could deal with Charlotte knowing about the weed, not the _other_ shit.

‘It was one joint, hop off my dick.’ 

‘One joint or a million joints, you know with your family history that it can be a slippery slope to experiment with even a single puff.’ _Oh Charlotte, you have no idea._

Continuing to pace around the room, Toni was starting to feel agitated wishing Charlotte would get to the point. Was she moving foster homes or what? 

Charlotte smacked her lips, ‘So I spoke to the Michaelson’s before I got here,’ _Fuck._ The Michaelson’s were Toni’s not so foster family and considering Toni hadn’t shown face in the trailer in over two weeks, she knew she was truly fucked. Her and the Michaelson’s had a deal, Toni would stay off their radar and out of enough trouble so long as the cheques continued to roll in. Clearly, Toni fucked up that last part.

‘Two weeks, Toni? Where the hell have you been?’ Charlotte questioned, worry evident in her tone.

‘Here and there.’ Toni mumbled.

‘Not good enough, kid. You know what this means and as much as I hate to do this, you’ll have to be moved again.’ Toni knew those words were coming, but they still caused a fire within her. Turning around, she landed her fist into the wall with a loud scream. 

Toni started flipping the furniture that occupied the room, first the desk then the four chairs that accompanied it. Her anger was like a switch, one small press and it was flicked on. Regan had once referred to Toni as birch bark, ‘one little match and you catch fire, just like that’. Toni understood exactly what she meant but was unaware how to stop it.

Once Toni’s anger had subsided, she was ready to have the conversation with Charlotte. Due to a deal made in court, Toni could not be placed out with her current sector meaning she would never be moved away from her familiar, small town. However, Charlotte emphasised to Toni that most foster family options were exhausted as Toni had either already been to the family or her reputation was well known. This meant only one thing. 

_Hopewell Lake’s Group Home_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all the kudos and comments, it really means a lot and motivates me to keep writing <3
> 
> also apologies for shelby barely being in the fic so far, just trying to establish toni's background first x


End file.
